A Really Bad Day

Today was horrible. Other than Jonah getting his birthday present from his Grandma and Grandpa Willard in the mail today, this day just overall sucked. I tried to work out this morning (I usually do it at night) and that was a bad idea. The kids were in my way and were being mean to each other. I had to quit early and didn't get to stretch, so my legs were sore for a while.

Later on, I decided it was time (too late actually) to put some Christmas music on my ipod, so I plugged it into the computer. A box popped up telling me that it couldn't access my ipod because of some problem with the folder- whatever that means. So I decide, okay, I'll unplug and try again. So I eject my ipod and lo, and behold, my ipod has been restored, as in ERASED CLEAN. All of my songs gone. Not only had I spent hours putting songs on that thing, but also dollars to purchase songs. The majority of my songs aren't even in my iTunes library because we just installed iTunes on our home computer a few months ago. So that really sucked.

Then I got online to check my email and stuff. I see a video with live footage from the protests for Prop 8 at the L.A. Temple. That was horrible. A total downer, and I start to feel not only really depressed, but scared for the future and for my kids. Ask anyone who knows me well. That is not a good combo for me. I am a huge worrier-slash-emotional basket case about the world my kids will have to grow up in. So I cried a little while about that.

I made the kids lunch, which they barely ate, then I proceeded to pick up toys for the umpteenth time today. I try to get the kids to nap, to no avail. This is weird- the big kids almost always nap, and Levi naps twice. But he didn't nap once today, although I tried three times.

I decide to tackle the laundry and spend a good couple of hours folding, putting away, and changing load after load of laundry. I decide to wipe down my disgusting bathroom counter as well as take out all of the overflowing upstairs trashes. Meanwhile, I let the kids watch a movie downstairs that they picked out so they will not mess up my piles of folded laundry. The kids are usually great while watching movies- they don't just sit there, but they usually play without causing too much trouble. When I am finally done putting away the clothes, I go downstairs to find finely ground graham cracker crumbs and wonton pieces (from yesterday's lunch) all over the tile, carpet, and couches. I had left an avocado on the counter to ripen. It was smashed all over the entire downstairs: places in the carpet, on the walls, and yes, all over Eden. I found the pit in one of Levi's shoes. (That was probably the only time I smiled all day.)

At that point, I had had it! I yelled at the kids and put them both in time-outs. When they were out of time-out, they wouldn't help me clean up anything. They were both acting so defiant and just mean to me and each other. I feel bad for yelling at them, but seriously, I was losing it. I finally sent them both to their rooms and locked their doors with the lights out while I started to clean up the mess. Thankfully, Peter got home soon after that.

I know I probably neglected the kids today in favor of getting some chores done, but the kids have been acting like this for the last few days: not sharing whatsoever, pushing, hitting, yelling at each other, taking toys... I just cant stand it. We have started to read scriptures as a family out of those picture versions the church puts out. So far, the kids' attention spans have been near non-existent. But I am trying. I realize that our family's ties are going to have to be strong because of some of the things they will be facing. I am going to have to teach them and talk with them about things that my parents wouldn't have even thought to bring up. I just hope I don't screw these kids up too badly. I don't think I'm a horrible mom, but I know I can be better at a lot of things.

Anyway, sorry for the pity party/whine rant. Hopefully I won't have any more days like today anytime soon!