On Miscarrying

Well, I guess the kids knew more about the pregnancy than I thought. Last Sunday, Jonah asked me if the little tiny baby growing inside me was getting bigger. I had to explain to him that when I went to the hospital to see the doctors, I found out that the baby was sick and died. I was surprised that when I told this to Jonah, he started crying. He was really upset. I told him that there's no longer a baby inside me, but that Dad and I were going to try again and have a baby that isn't sick. I hugged him and cried a little too. I guess I've learned that even though my kids act like they aren't listening, they really are. I need to see them as people, not just kids. Eden came over and I told her about the baby too. She was sad but she also understood.

I am doing better than I thought I would with the miscarriage. Before I had had a miscarriage, I wondered how I would be able to get through something like that. It's kind of different when you have to get through it. I think my circumstances have made it easier to deal with, but also the fact that I still know that Heavenly Father is behind me on this. I have definitely felt prompted that another spirit is waiting to join our family, and even though I lost this one, I still think that it will happen.

Thanks so much to my friends and family for your well-wishes, emails, and comments. I really appreciate the love and support. I have been able to not dwell on the loss, but when someone expresses their condolences, I think about it a little more and allow myself to get a little sad, which I think is good. I have a follow-up with my doctor this Thursday and hopefully I will know more about when we can try again. In the meantime, I have lots to keep my mind busy.