Okay, I know that every parent thinks that their kid is the cutest, best at everything, or the smartest. It's funny when someone brags about how their kid is so talented in a certain area, and you just don't see it. Actually, it's not really funny; it's more annoying than anything. Well, prepare to be annoyed, because you might not agree with this post, but I have just got to say something about Jonah.
Tonight I let the kids watch Lion King after a short swim in the pool. They actually sat down for most of the movie, which allowed me to feed Levi and get some laundry done. As the movie was coming to a close, I came downstairs and told the kids that after the movie they were going to bed. Then Peter and I sat on the couch and watched the rest of the movie like zombies. (Why do we do that? It was like a tractor beam drawing us in. We've seen every kids' movie we own at least 47 times.)
When the movie was almost over, some fun African music started playing and Jonah got up to dance. He was really getting into it and had some great moves we had never seen. I was wondering, "Where does he come up with this stuff?" Then the music turned softer and it started playing "Can You Feel the Love Tonight." He immediately slowed down his movements and started dancing around like the contemporary dancers on So You Think You Can Dance! He was leaping and doing things with his arms that I can't even explain! It got Peter and I thinking:
This kid has talent! We have always thought that Jonah had a talent for music and dancing ever since he was really young. I guess we are reminded of it every now and again. He dances like no other 3-year-old I know. He doesn't just jump around. Tonight he was really feeling the music and moving to it. I wish I could have recorded a video, but I didn't want to miss watching his dance. While I'm bragging about him, I might as well mention that Jonah also plays the piano like no other 3-year-old I know. He actually tries to play songs, singing at the same time. At one point, he could almost play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, but I stopped practicing with him and he probably forgot it.
I always wondered if kids who start ice skating at 2 or 3 and end up as Olympic skaters really had the talent for it in the beginning, or if their parents just wanted them to do it and made it happen. Almost anyone who practices for 16 years can end up being pretty good at anything. I don't want to be one of those parents who chooses my kid's life or interests for them. One thing I know is Jonah has rhythm, he is good at dancing, and he is a performer. That leads me to believe that (so far) some of his talents lie in performing arts. And I have to admit, that scares me a little.
As I was watching Jonah's show, I started feeling pretty sad that he might not get to use his talents to the fullest in this life. I don't think I could bear putting him in a dance class which will inevitably be full of girls. And even if I did, eventually he will get made fun of. That's just how it is. As a kid, I probably would have made fun of a boy dancer in an all girl class too (but probably not to his face, which doesn't make it better).
I am not against performing arts at all. I was in performing arts in school and I loved it. I just really hate the social stigmas for males in the arts. Take a professional male dancer, for instance. Sorry to say, but most of us would probably draw the conclusion that the guy is a little fruity or something. What father works as a dancer to support his family? I know that even if Jonah is a talented dancer, the chances of him professionally dancing are extremely remote. This post must sound so funny to most of you. I just realized how random my thoughts sound aloud.
I guess what I am saying is that I hope that my kids get to explore the fields that they are talented in without feeling social pressure. I wouldn't want any of my kids being made fun of for pursuing something that they truly have an interest in or are talented in. That being said, I really hope my kids won't be interested in taxidermy (ewww!) or swimming with sharks.
13 comments:
Don't worry too much. I dated a guy in ballroom and Gavin took dance at BYU. If he's really talented and loves to do it...he'll do it when he's comfotable. Plus, kids interests do change from one thing to another. Next year, it could be drawing, then football. Just enjoy it and try not to let preconceived notions about girls and boys worry you.
Well I know you're not "just bragging". I've seen Jonah dance and he is pretty amazing for a 3 year old!
Well said. I agree with you on the whole stigma thing, it is pretty sad expecially if the boy had talent! You are a cute mom. Try to post a picture of him dancing, we would love to see...or maybe we will have to wait until Talent Night at Thanksgiving!
It was so fun to read this, cause I can understand how you would be worried about this. First off, every kid gets made fun of at some point growing up- no matter what. Its unavoidable. I wouldn't hesitate at all putting him in a dance class. Especially at a younger age to see if its something he really takes to and likes. And I wouldn't worry about the social stigmas, or the chances of him dancing ruining his social life, or shooting him into stardom....both those extremes are far fetched. Its just one of his many talents that makes him well rounded. You and Peter are such good parents, that you've instilled in Jonah a good sense of self. So no matter what he's involved in down the road, he will know who he is, and will probably be confident with it.
I LOVE MY KIDS!! I'm sure Lexie is stewing this one over! Go Jonah!!!
If Jonah were my kid, I would put him in a dance class. A lot of studios have summer clinics that are for a week or two. You could start out with a short class to see if he likes it. Emma and Jade go to a dance studio that has a class just for boys! I would research dance studios in your area to see what they have to offer. You might be surprised. Thanks to several reality TV shows, like dancing with the stars, I think the social stigma with males and dancing is changing and fast! Have you heard of Derek Hough? He is 22, LDS, a professional ballroom dancer and choreographer. He is a good dancer and is helping to reach out to young boys out there to show them that dancing is cool. This last season of dancing with the stars, the show featured a kid ballroom competition. There were kids as young as 8 dancing in it. It was so cool to watch. They interviewed each team and even went to their schools! ABC has the episodes online, if you want to watch. Emma loved watching the kids dancing. It helped her to realize that ballroom dancing is something she can do too. Before she saw the kids dancing she only saw the adults and I think she thought only adults can ballroom dance. Sign him up for a class and see what happens. He may like it or hate it. At least you would know, and Jonah would have the experience. That is just my opinion. Ü
I agree with Karena and Kira. Whether it's being accepted or criticized, at some point all of your children are going to struggle with the society around them. Didn't we all?! The thing to do now is let them be the kids they are. Don't put limits or restrictions on them and don't push them in a direction they may not want to go. Give them a variety of things to excell in. If Jonah leans toward dancing....great. If not.....great. I'm obviously not the greatest person to be giving advice, since I have soooo many kids. Just let them have fun and get their groove on at the same time.
Thanks, everyone. It's just hard to know what is right for your kids. I want to do what's best for them, like we all do. I think I might put him in an all boys class, like Kristie suggested. I looked up some local stuff and in Gilbert they have an all boys little hip hop class. I think it's 4 and up, so maybe when he turns four. I'd be interested to see if he liked it! And I know that my kids will get made fun of at some point. It sucks, but I think it does build character. I wouldn't be who I am today if I wansn't ever called "Constipated Constance"! Haha. Thanks for all of the comments and suggestions!
Well, it is a shame that there is this social stigma. I will say, though, that in the dance classes I've taught in Orem, there are a few boys. And, they are always needed. However, most boys who are in dance, usually pick it up or take is seriously (if it's a passion for them) when they are in their late teens, early twenties and they can still have successful careers as dancers. Unfortunately, for a woman, that would NEVER happen (well, i can't say never, but the chances are very slim). Because there are so few male dancers, they do have more of a chance in getting a job. And, look at Benji, he may not be married with kids now, but I bet he'll be dancing the rest of his life. And, you also can consider, even if he's not professionally dancing, he can still teach. Dance Studio owners can make bank. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is this, don't worry about it - put him in dance! I think it's wonderful! And, again, boy dancers are needed! So, if he has a gift, develop it!
yeah this was a good post. This is why I always say that I hate stereotypes because it's always about this stuff, girls and boys and what they "should" and "shouldn't" do. For me there are no rules, that's of course with keeping in the guidelines of the Gospel. For me I want my boys to believe that it's great to dance and sing, and that pink looks great on them, and I don't think anything of the fact that almost every time I pick Marce up from Nursery he's holding a baby doll...I never want my kids to feel like they can't be who they want to be as long as their doing what's right. My girls may be tomboys just like me,...or not...it's all good. I as a kid would much rather shop out of the boys section for clothes, or pick out a remote control car rather than a Barbie...actually I did play Barbies but I was ALWAYS Ken, anyway my opinion is put him in dance, if you know he has a talent, and frankly I KNOW Jonah has musical talent, find an all boys class, or even just a co ed class would be cool. If he likes it, he'll do it and get better and when someone is good at something although they might not think it's "cool" they really can't tease too much...think about it. When I think of Jonah down the road, I see a killer piano player, a great singer and dancer, and who knows maybe a surprise drummer or guitarist...
my comment towards the end didn't make sense so what i meant to say is if he likes it, he'll do it and get better and when someone is good at something although they (meaning other people, boys, or peers) might not think it's "cool" they really can't tease too much...not if someone is really good at it, hope that makes better sense
ummmm, hello...Brian was in dance club in H.S. OK, he was there too meet girls! I don't know if it worked, and I'm sure there were those that thought he was gay. I attended a fine arts school for H.S. and I woud say about 3 out of 10 boys were gay that were in choir and musicals. They were all my good friends and you could just tell. I think it's perfectly normal for boys to explore there love for fine arts in there early years and teenage years. I would just be leary of the college years. That is were most YM get seduced into that choice of a lifestyle.
Hey, you also are exposing Jonah to sports and you need good moves to be out there on the football field! Don't worry, Jonah is very well rounded in all areas of his life. Get him involved now, because he might grow out of it as he gets older. I have a friend in Queen Creek that puts on Musical Theater for an hour for Pre-Schoolers. It's $5 a class. Sam loves it! He learns a song and some pretty cool dance moves. I bet Jonah would love it too!
Gabriel is in a dance clas that is half boys and girls because they have a tumbling section of the class. For some reason having a tumbling portion makes it more socially acceptable. He loves it. Maybe you could find something similar just for him to have fun. If he has a talent, he should develop it.
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